Social media has made it easier for people to know more about other peoples lives than ever before. Pictures of happy couples, usually tagged #couplegoals, have flooded social media blinding many young couples to the reality that people will only show what they want you to see. You only see the good times. No one shares their arguments, their bad moments or the numerous number of times they irritate each other. Couples only show the side that will bring them more likes and comments to gain social media popularity.

Social media can have a negative impact on relationships if misused. Excessive time spent, jealousy-inducing posts, privacy invasion, or online infidelity can strain trust and communication, potentially leading to relationship breakdowns.

The carefully curated images on social media can take a toll on your love life. Most times people compare their relationship to these social media relationships which look good on the outside and this has led to not only breakups but emotional abuse. You will end up putting pressure on your partner expecting them to be someone they are not, leaving you asking questions like “Why them, why not us? Why aren’t we doing this and that? Why don’t you do this like this person?”

It is important that you understand that no relationship is a bed of roses and comes with its ups and downs. Most importantly you have do what works for your relationship rather than comparing it to what you see on social media.

Here are some useful tips for you to apply in your relationship instead of comparing.

Find comfort within

Seeking validation or using others relationship to define yours is a sign that you do not have confidence in your current status. You might notice that everyone but you is getting worked up or others seem happier in their relationships than you. Don’t allow this to make you start questioning the state and progress of your relationship.

In order for you to feel more confident, fight the urge to let other couples benchmarks be a yardstick for measuring your relationship. Be happy in yours and put in efforts to make it work.

Avoid playing the blame game

Saying things like “Why aren’t we like that other couple?” or “If I was with him or her then things would be different,” only destroys the bond between you and your partner. It also breaks the trust since you blame your relationship challenges on your partner without taking responsibility.

Instead of putting the blame on your partner, focus on what you like about your connection. Remind yourselves of what made you fall in love. Go out of your way to do things for each other.

Get real with your friends

Swap relationship stories with your friends. Hearing them open up about their relationships and the struggles they face will kill any assumption you might have.

You and your friends will also be able to advise each other on how to handle the challenges you face. Sharing like this will give you a sense of relief as you realise that you are not alone. Ensure you do this with trusted friends who have your best interests at heart.

Turn jealousy into action

Your first reaction when you see those romantic getaways shared on social media might be envious however, you can turn this into positive action. Instead of letting that jealousy eat you up, organise a fun activity that you and your partner would enjoy taking part in.

Use these instances as reminders to get out and get active instead of spending countless hours online.

Take a break from social media

If you try everything else and it doesn’t work, take a break from social media for a few days or a couple of weeks. Spend this time reminding yourself of what really matters in life. Focus on being the best version of yourself and making things better in your life. And when you do go back online, unfollow anybody who doesn’t add value to your life.